


fallen short

by fishydwarrows



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lucretia is such an interesting character, My first Taz fic eeee, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10481577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishydwarrows/pseuds/fishydwarrows
Summary: A look into Lucretia's past





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first TAZ fic so please treat me gently! Thank you for reading and please leave a comment!

_When I compare_  
_What I have lost with what I have gained,_ __  
_What I have missed with what attained,_ __  
_Little room do I find for pride._ __  
__  
_I am aware_ __  
_How many days have been idly spent;_ __  
_How like an arrow the good intent_ __  
_Has fallen short or been turned aside._ __  
__  
_But who shall dare_ __  
_To measure loss and gain in this wise?_ __  
_Defeat may be victory in disguise;_ __  
_The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide._ __  
  
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

-

 

In 0800 hours they touch down in Faerûn.

 

Lucretia knows this because she stays by one of the many windows of their ship, and watches the Hunger devour yet another Reality.

 

She rests her head against the borosilicate glass and gloomily observes the way the Hunger eats. It shines and pulsates like a beating heart, but slithers and writhes like a snake. Its surface is the blackest black she’s ever seen, but it shines like oil. She opens up her weathered journal and takes notes impassively.

 

They’ve been running for so long; she feels the toll more and more each day. The robe on her shoulders and the badge on her breast are no longer symbols of pride and innovation. Rather they are the symbols of fallacy and ruin.

 

Lucretia watches the Reality dissolve into nothingness. As the ship gains speed, it becomes but a speck. She leans against the window and sinks to the floor, letting her journal rest on her knees.

 

She takes a shuddering breath and looks at the aluminum ceiling. Just around the hallway, she can hear Magnus talking to the Voidfish.

 

Lucretia squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think of something else.

 

Nothing works.

 

-

 

“We have to do _something,_ ” Taako sweeps his arm dramatically towards a sketch of the Hunger that’s pinned to a bulletin board, “we have to- to do something. Hide the light. Separate it. Just something.”

 

Taako stands by the board and looks out across the table. They sit in a circle, cloaked in red and solemn.

 

Lucretia watches Davenport stroke his beard thoughtfully.

 

“We could divide it into relics… There’s enough magical power between all of us.” Davenport looks around their table. Barry and Lup look at each other and shrug.

 

“Taako has a point.” Lup says. “This could be a useful way to avoid the Hunger.”

 

Barry adjusts his glasses and glances at Merle to his left, “What do you think?”

 

Merle runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

 

“But, what’s the point of hiding it? That’s just like runnin’.”

 

“I agree.” Lucretia says. She clutches her journal to her chest.

 

“It’ll catch us in the end.” She says softly, “It always catches up.”

 

“I agree with Lucretia,” Magnus nods, “We can’t escape the Hunger forever. And what happens if we separate it? Just how powerful will these relics be, Davenport?”

 

Davenport’s brows furrow and he grimaces, “I don’t know.”

 

“Then we shouldn’t do it!” Lucretia slams a hand on the table.

 

“Then what do you think we should do, huh?” Taako glares at her, “There’s no other option!”

 

Lup stares at the sketch, and says quietly: “Let’s take a vote.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said,” Lup repeats, “Let’s take a vote.” She nods to Davenport, who stands. “All in favor say ‘aye.’”

 

Barry, Lup, and Taako raise their hands immediately.

 

“Aye.” They say.

 

Lucretia sees Merle meet her eyes and mouth ‘ _sorry_ ,’ before saying: “aye.” Davenport raises an eyebrow at Lucretia and Magnus, the only two without a hand raised.

 

“No,” Lucretia says, “there’s no point.”

 

There is silence.

 

“Would doing this buy us time to save them?” Magnus says, not looking away from the sketch on the board.

 

“Of course.” Taako says.

 

Because of course he says it.

 

Magnus gives one look at Taako and raises his hand.

 

He looks at Lucretia; in his eyes is a plea, or maybe, just sympathy.

 

“No.” Lucretia says.

 

-

 

Magnus is the last one to leave the ship.

 

Before he goes, he juggles the Chalice a bit in his hands.

 

His eyes are tired.

 

After Lup died… Well, everyone feels tired now.

 

Lucretia hugs Magnus tight before he leaves.

 

“Stay safe,” she whispers in his ear.

 

She knows, once he’s gone, she’ll have to do it.

 

To erase it all.

 

Her limbs feel like lead, and her words like poison.

 

-

 

She drops her journal into the Voidfish’s tank with an unceremonious plunk. She clutches her vial tight in her hand and quickly dips it into the tank.

 

Lucretia gulps down the liquid as she feels her memories fade.

 

For one blissful moment, it’s all gone.

 

The Hunger, the mission, the death.

 

Then, she grimaces, and the memories return.

 

-

 

Lucretia sits behind her desk and swivels her chair around. On the wall rests the one thing she saved from the ship.

 

A portrait.

 

Lucretia squeezes her eyes closed and tries to breath.

 

There is silence.

 

Then, a tentative knock.

 

“Yes?” She says, eyes tight.

 

“Davenport.” Davenport says, gesturing behind him to the room beyond.

 

The boys must be here.

 

Lucretia takes a breath, and stands. She clutches her white staff and dusts off her long blue robes.

  
She mustn't look a mess; the Director needs to make a good impression on the new reclaimers, after all.


End file.
